yo m8 so one day i was smoking some weed. wehen i was done i was really fuckng bored and decided to browse ebay to buy some old gayms. I found a copy of tetris, and then i obtained the nostalgia. i remebered the game’s really good atmosphere and deep + philosophical story line. i decided to look at the price tag. It was priced at $666 dollars. I thought that this was a good deal, and i bought the game then dowloaded it. after sum hours the game was done downloading. I started up the game. It appeared to be a rom of the NES virgin of the game, but it was glitchy as shitting fuck. There was no sound, or music. I decided to start the game and it was completely normal, except there was no color. I played, and got to a score of 69, but then i fucked up. I failed, and it was all because of one of those damn “L’’ blocks (you know, the ones that have 3 vertical blocks then a block that goes left?)
I got the game over screen, as a loud “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” sound sprayed from my monitor. Then my monitor produced a laugh that sounded like dat kefka laugh or something. Then my desktop computer box thing device started to produce blood. I figured that the blood was a glitch, and that the sound effects were something in my eye. My failure was horrible. I contemplated suididing. But then, I smelled marijuana smoke. I followed the smell, and I ended up in my front yard. The strong weed smell suddenly disappeared, then I heard the ambient Tetris theme song inside of my ears. It was really fucking loud, ambient,and photorealistic. I looked up, and saw IT. IT was a hyperrealistic Tetris L block slowly falling from the sky. I could see it’s shadow directly over me (even though it was night). The block was spinning mid-air, every time the block spun it made a “wind through the trees sound” (because wind is scary). I ran a few steps forward, as the block slammed into the ground. I saw more blocks falling from the sky. I had to run before I got smashed. As I ran, stock action music played in the background (even though the Tetris song was playing in my head so logically I couldn’t actually here it but idc so shutup). More and more and more and more and more and more Tetris blocks appeared. Some blocks slammed down and I avoided them. Then, a 1x4 block fell. It rushed toward me. It lowered to where I was, and stayed at that same level. It sped toward me, and tried to assault me(sexually). I ran as fast as I can. I was too slow apparently, cuz the block broke through my pants and penetrated my anus. I yelled. I ran faster so the block could exit my anuss. Eventually it did, then it hit the ground and stopped. My speed was gr8 m8, and I eventually reached the dam (because there’s a dam now) as another 1x4 started to chase me. As I jumped off of the dam, I spun around while the gay tony theme song played in the background, as a 2x2 (which was all 3d and shit) slammed into the ground, and collided with a 1x4 block and exploded behind me. I took a screenshot.
As I fell toward the ground, I had a sudden realisation. A shitload of blocks were falling toward me. Too many blocks. In the game, this would be a game over. I realised, that if you die in the game, you die in real life. All of the blocks combined into a large mass. I heard dat kefka laugh or something, as the mound killed me, I saw the game over screen. I am writing this in hell now, remember, dont play Tetris or you’ll get shrekt.